1. The side of my pussy-magnet equipped jet2. Event t-shirts at trisport events
3. The registration desk at tri events
4. The pool at the YMCA
5. Slowtwitch
It's very simple. Keep your fat ass in exercise isolation until your body is hot enough to show up in an advertisement in Triathlete magazine. Then, and only then, come out and show off your body at an event.
I am absolutely revolted by the shear number of wannabe runners/triathletes whose only motivation is to lose weight. Of course, fatties don't admit that to themselves, they say they are out to prove some dumb shit... like "how fat can I be and still finish a triathlon." As if it must be some sort of underground effort to win anti-discrimination rights for fat people. Ok fatties, we don't give the gays the right to get married, but we give your fat asses the right to reproduce. That should be enough to keep them content; but no... they always want more... the right to stick to the linoleum when they squat. the right to have calorie-free Big Macs with extra sauce and no pickles. What are they going to want next? The right to have helium filled Cervélos to shave off another ounce? Here's a place to start: Drop your fucking bodyfat percentage until the remaining fat weighs less than your bike.
If I had a dollar for every chunky flight attendant I've fucked that commented on how hot my body is and told me their long term goals involved running a 5K, I'd have about 132 dollars. I really don't like engaging in pillow talk, but these fat bitches laid on top of me so I couldn't leave while they where blubbering on about how they want to lose weight without actually admitting it to themselves. Because everyone knows that being fat is a disorder. Much like being an alcoholic pilot. We just can't help it, right?
Why do fat chicks give good head? BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO!
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