Friday, August 28, 2009

Bunny Boilers

All of you crazy stalker chicks are something else...

One of you had a mind-blowing revelation earlier today when I described to you how my phone does _not_ show 45 missed calls when it is turned off during all those calls... The only way I would've known that you called, under such circumstances, would be if you left a message. If my phone went straight to voicemail and you just hung up, then there is no magic stalker alert from Verizon Wireless that lets me know you called every 5 minutes while I was at 41,000' on my way to Ft Lauderdale.

So ladies, while I love the attention, please don't hold it against me. At least not that anyways. Just keep sending the nudie pics and I'll respond to them when my busy schedule allows.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Bonus Joke Day

What's the difference between a flight attendant and a washing machine?

After you dump your load in a washing machine, it won't follow you around for a week.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Joke Day

I had to go to the urologist for the first time last week. I was really nervous about it, but it turned out that the doctor was this totally smoking hot chick.

Almost as soon as she started her examination she jumped back and said, alarmed, "Okay, the first thing I can tell you is that you have got to stop masturbating."

Astonished, I replied, "Why?" She said, "Because I'm standing RIGHT HERE."