Critique my position

OMG Where is the fucking eye bleach?

Lose 30 pounds and then I might tell you to switch to an injection molded dildo saddle replica of my cock* and OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CANKLES? Those are some awfully chubby cheeks you have! Is that why there are no acorns in the northeast this year? I bet it's even harder to pronounce your R's and G's with those things.


*for sale soon in right and left handed models.

Props to TriFAThlete for the inspiration. Click the image for full size pic.