Gym Grunting Etiquette

Alright fatties, I need to teach you some discipline when it comes to making obnoxious noises at the gym:

Grunting is only allowed when lifting free weights and one of the following conditions it met:
(1.) When lifting your One Rep Max (or attempting to set a new one)
(2.) When lifting the last rep of a set of at least 8 reps when there is no spotter and you might die if you don't get the barbell back onto the racks without an adrenaline burst
(3.) If something in your body is damaged during the lift (eg. a testicle bursts, hernia erupts, or anus prolapses)

You may only grunt once per gym visit, unless the second grunt is because you became injured during a subsequent lift (see #3 above).

Thou shalt never grunt during a bench press unless you are pressing more than your body-weight.

Now isn't that simple? Just keep the dumb shit to a minimum and put the weights back on the correct racks when you are done.