Since I've become a personal trainer, I have found that women don't respond well to positive reinforcement from a guy like me. If I use positive comments I get incredulous looks and comments like "will it be ok if i never have a body like yours?" No. It's not ok to be a fattie or settle for less than skinny and hawt.
So here is a list of my top motivators... I'm going to throw you all of these at once, so try not to let your head explode with the desire to go lose weight and tone up:
- You really have a classic postpartum body.
- Abs are made in the kitchen... yours look like they were made in the Ben and Jerry's kitchen.
- I would totally recommend you sign up for more than three months. We have a lot of work to do.
- We're going to get you looking so hot, you'll be at the bars again picking up guys like me.
- How can you expect to make progress if you skip the exercises you don't enjoy? It's friggin' obvious you haven't been doing your Kegel exercises.
- How old is your baby again? Oh... wow. Well, it's never too late to start training. I'm glad you called.
- Your a triathlete? Really? wow. I guess the swimming part must be easy for you.
- Now don't go getting pregnant just when we're reaching your fitness goals.
- You probably already have a washboard stomach.. you just have some laundry to take care of. Why don't you run over to my house and do mine... You need the exercise.
- Have you thought about having that extra skin removed?
- Fibromyalgia doesn't really exist... that's what old fatties use as an excuse for being an old fattie in need of a hysterectomy. Well, it's a term used to describe a psychosomatic set of symptoms. It is your body's way of telling you to harden the fuck up.
- Wow, I haven't seen anyone as fat or as lazy as you in a long time.
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