Sad News to pass along... :(

I regret to pass on to everyone that our beloved Frank Cardia of finman fame was recently found dead in Bangkok. His body was discovered in his motel room closet, hanging from a makeshift rope of sausage links tied from his penis to his neck. It is unclear whether he committed suicide or not, if he died of suffocation after his ego deflated, or from heart failure due to chronic narcissism.

This photograph from the scene was leaked by Thai media to discredit slowtwitch rumors that Frank might have been a healthy or decent human being who actually died from a compression garment wardrobe malfunction.

We loved you Frank... How could you violate the sanctity of sausage like this? It just doesn't make any sense!