Finally a fun run I can support

An event was brought to my attention recently that I think all of you should participate it. Now, it's not an ironman or a deep-fried twinkie eating contest, but in terms of social importance, it should be at the top of your to-do list.

I present to you the Merrick's Walk and 5K Fun Run to raise Anorexia Awareness! I mean, what could be more important than spreading awareness of the benefits of being anorexic? You can be faster, skinnier, and a whole lot better looking. Isn't that what we all want?

Seriously, what could possibly be better for potential anorexics than a good fast 5K run on an empty stomach? Sounds like a way to shave off a few more ounces of that tummy fat you keep complaining about. But the real benefit is showing other fatties that being fat is NOT OK and you've found a way to get rid of all your fat and keep it off!

No pain, no gain. Now why don't you all use running as a way to get your mind off eating. Every time you feel a bit hungry, just lace up those Saucony's and run through the hunger pains. And hey, I'll even let you drink all the water you want!!!

Oh, and I'm now a Certified Addiction Counselor who specializes in counseling women with eating disorders, addictions, and self-image issues. So if you are fat and you wonder why men never whistle at you when you wear a skirt, just give me a call. I'll have you obsessively and compulsively starving your way to a better and sexier new you in no time... guaranteed! Counseling is one-on-one in a very very intimate setting, so just relax and let's get started...