Sad News to pass along... :(

I regret to pass on to everyone that our beloved Frank Cardia of finman fame was recently found dead in Bangkok. His body was discovered in his motel room closet, hanging from a makeshift rope of sausage links tied from his penis to his neck. It is unclear whether he committed suicide or not, if he died of suffocation after his ego deflated, or from heart failure due to chronic narcissism.

This photograph from the scene was leaked by Thai media to discredit slowtwitch rumors that Frank might have been a healthy or decent human being who actually died from a compression garment wardrobe malfunction.

We loved you Frank... How could you violate the sanctity of sausage like this? It just doesn't make any sense!

Fat triathletes are fat.

Would you like an apple pie with that?

Ding! Fries are done!

More coverage on GIHUGIC breaking news...

A secret source at Runner's World magazine has sent me a copy of the original undoctored cover proof featuring a Fat Triathlete that was featured on their cover in the October 2007 issue.

(first draft of the October 2007 cover)

It is easily ascertained from the wide hips, enormous thighs, and godzilla cankles that this is in fact a real triathlete; not the doctored version that ran actual print issue. Don't be fooled by the media; fatties have very effectively infested the triathlon world and are considered immune to weight loss even under such demanding circumstances.

If you see a fat triathlete in the streets, try to avoid contact. Fattyness spreads by contact and is highly contagous. Do not share bottles with fat triathletes as indirect contact with a fat triathlete is the second leading cause of obesity in our country.

Breaking News

My skinny friends at TriFAThlete have uncovered a story that has the blogging world trembling, and I am in possession of more shocking evidence that I must share with the world. Evidence that threatens to destroy the fabricated notions of these triathletes who are exalted by other triathlon websites...

(original undoctored photo)

Don't let photoshopped photos of "skinny" female triathletes fool you! No such skinny triathletes have ever existed! Even the so-called pro's are packing bodyfat percentages that would make a holstein blush.

More to come!!! Stay tuned!