Joke Day

What is the definition of making love?

Something your girlfriend does while you are fucking her.

Bunny Boilers

All of you crazy stalker chicks are something else...

One of you had a mind-blowing revelation earlier today when I described to you how my phone does _not_ show 45 missed calls when it is turned off during all those calls... The only way I would've known that you called, under such circumstances, would be if you left a message. If my phone went straight to voicemail and you just hung up, then there is no magic stalker alert from Verizon Wireless that lets me know you called every 5 minutes while I was at 41,000' on my way to Ft Lauderdale.

So ladies, while I love the attention, please don't hold it against me. At least not that anyways. Just keep sending the nudie pics and I'll respond to them when my busy schedule allows.

Joke Day

I had to go to the urologist for the first time last week. I was really nervous about it, but it turned out that the doctor was this totally smoking hot chick.

Almost as soon as she started her examination she jumped back and said, alarmed, "Okay, the first thing I can tell you is that you have got to stop masturbating."

Astonished, I replied, "Why?" She said, "Because I'm standing RIGHT HERE."

Joke Day

Bigamy is one wife too many.

So is monogamy.

Sing Along Day

Sing along ladies! (and check out the hairless pussy at the end)

joke day

What do women and laxatives have in common?

They both irritate the shit out of you.

Joke Day

Q: Why do men die before their wives?

A: They want to.

Joke Day

How long does it take the average woman to climax?

Who Cares!

Riding the cotton pony

I helped the EMTs at a car wreck last night and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convenience store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

Well Put.

Q: What is love?

A: The delusion that one woman differs from another.