Instead of trying to horde 6 pieces of equipment during the lunchtime rush so you can "superset" an entire circuit workout, try "super-setting" 5 sets of 10 A2G squats with an 1000 calorie hour on the treadmill and then another 1000 calorie hour on the elliptical trainer. Can you feel the pump now you fat fuck?
So you lift weights?
No, I just put them down.
Showing posts with label admit you are fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label admit you are fat. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
It's sing-along-time with uncle pilot!
Fat girls
talkin' 'bout cardio
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Fat girls
talkin' 'bout cardio
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
They don't
they don't even know
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
They don't
they don't even know
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
She's lookin' for a new relation
sick of all the self stimulation
she's gotta alotta insulation
butt the size of a third world nation
She's lookin' for a new relation
sick of all the self stimulation
she's gotta alotta insulation
butt the size of a third world nation
These girls
they don't know what to do
these girls
they don't know what to do
Fat girls
talkin' 'bout cardio
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Hey Look, it's a new triathlete!
Hey fatties, yes you do look fat in your wetsuit! It's not the wetsuit's fault, it the ginormous mounds of fat you squeezed into it, you fat ass. Try again when you aren't so fucking fat.
It's not the wetsuit that makes you look fat, it's your fat that makes you look fat
It's not the wetsuit that makes you look fat, it's your fat that makes you look fat
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Can I have a seat-belt extension please? I'm flying to Panama City to run an ironman!
I want to see this logo in a lot of places:
1. The side of my pussy-magnet equipped jet
2. Event t-shirts at trisport events
3. The registration desk at tri events
4. The pool at the YMCA
5. Slowtwitch
It's very simple. Keep your fat ass in exercise isolation until your body is hot enough to show up in an advertisement in Triathlete magazine. Then, and only then, come out and show off your body at an event.
I am absolutely revolted by the shear number of wannabe runners/triathletes whose only motivation is to lose weight. Of course, fatties don't admit that to themselves, they say they are out to prove some dumb shit... like "how fat can I be and still finish a triathlon." As if it must be some sort of underground effort to win anti-discrimination rights for fat people. Ok fatties, we don't give the gays the right to get married, but we give your fat asses the right to reproduce. That should be enough to keep them content; but no... they always want more... the right to stick to the linoleum when they squat. the right to have calorie-free Big Macs with extra sauce and no pickles. What are they going to want next? The right to have helium filled Cervélos to shave off another ounce? Here's a place to start: Drop your fucking bodyfat percentage until the remaining fat weighs less than your bike.
If I had a dollar for every chunky flight attendant I've fucked that commented on how hot my body is and told me their long term goals involved running a 5K, I'd have about 132 dollars. I really don't like engaging in pillow talk, but these fat bitches laid on top of me so I couldn't leave while they where blubbering on about how they want to lose weight without actually admitting it to themselves. Because everyone knows that being fat is a disorder. Much like being an alcoholic pilot. We just can't help it, right?
Why do fat chicks give good head? BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO!
1. The side of my pussy-magnet equipped jet2. Event t-shirts at trisport events
3. The registration desk at tri events
4. The pool at the YMCA
5. Slowtwitch
It's very simple. Keep your fat ass in exercise isolation until your body is hot enough to show up in an advertisement in Triathlete magazine. Then, and only then, come out and show off your body at an event.
I am absolutely revolted by the shear number of wannabe runners/triathletes whose only motivation is to lose weight. Of course, fatties don't admit that to themselves, they say they are out to prove some dumb shit... like "how fat can I be and still finish a triathlon." As if it must be some sort of underground effort to win anti-discrimination rights for fat people. Ok fatties, we don't give the gays the right to get married, but we give your fat asses the right to reproduce. That should be enough to keep them content; but no... they always want more... the right to stick to the linoleum when they squat. the right to have calorie-free Big Macs with extra sauce and no pickles. What are they going to want next? The right to have helium filled Cervélos to shave off another ounce? Here's a place to start: Drop your fucking bodyfat percentage until the remaining fat weighs less than your bike.
If I had a dollar for every chunky flight attendant I've fucked that commented on how hot my body is and told me their long term goals involved running a 5K, I'd have about 132 dollars. I really don't like engaging in pillow talk, but these fat bitches laid on top of me so I couldn't leave while they where blubbering on about how they want to lose weight without actually admitting it to themselves. Because everyone knows that being fat is a disorder. Much like being an alcoholic pilot. We just can't help it, right?
Why do fat chicks give good head? BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO!
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